I AM 52, and while I don’t feel old, there have been many times in my life when I’ve realized: I am getting older. But that awareness has actually helped me evolve, face some of my fears, and live more in the moment. Age taught me lessons I now live by.
Honor What You Have NowI STARTED LOSING my hair at 25. Back then, I was afraid of showing my bald head because it was such a drastic change. Losing my ability to express myself through my hair was tough for me. For a long time, I wore hats. You’ve never seen pictures of me in my late 20s without something on my head. I wasn’t secure in how I looked.
Sure, there were some dynamic bald men out there, like Michael Jordan and Isaac Hayes, who inspired me. Harry Belafonte, when he was older, was still seen as a beautiful Black man who was bald. But I didn’t embrace my baldness until I was in preparation for Smokin’ Aces. My character didn’t wear a hat, so I couldn’t. I started feeling more power within myself. It felt like I was revealing something I used to be ashamed of and felt bad about. It became a strength. This was me.
If you see a few wrinkles in your face, it’s okay. There’s a beauty in that. Embracing who you are at your age will give you so much power and confidence. Sometimes you want to hold on to what used to be when what you have now is actually beautiful.
Health Screenings Are Worth ItWHEN I WAS 50, out of the blue, one of my best friends, who happens to be a doctor, told me, “Rashid, you need to go get a colonoscopy, because you are at that age where you need to know your intestinal health.” I was already eating well, so I felt like my health was good. But if I was being honest with myself, I had some fear of my own mortality. That woke me up, because as Black men, we feel like if we’re good, we don’t need or want to get that information.
I’ve had friends who have passed from different diseases in their 40s and 50s. My father died at 71 of prostate cancer when I was 42. His death inspired me to want to consistently take care of myself and be as loving to myself as possible. My friend telling me to get a colonoscopy was one of the times when I realized I was at an age where I needed to be more aware of aging.
Be Present with Everyone, Yourself IncludedSEEING DEMENTIA UP close in my grandmother is an emotional cycle. She was 95 going on 96 this particular time my mother and I visited her. In those moments, you see somebody you love and shared experiences with. You want them to know you are there and you care. You want to have your grandma always showing you that love, comfort, support, faith, and inspiration. To not experience that is tough, even though she did have moments when she recognized who I was. I didn’t want to see my grandmother in that state.
And Then We Rise: A Guide to Loving and Taking Care of Self
Yet I acknowledged that was how I felt. Even if the person never recognizes you, you still want to show up and give love. It is okay to feel sad that you can’t connect with them as you once used to. But after you experience that sadness, appreciate what you have with them, that they’re alive, and that you can express something to them.
My mother knows how I think. As we were leaving my grandmother’s room, my mom could see how much this was weighing on me. She made sure to reassure me, “You know, when you get older, it might not be like this for you.” To prevent dementia from becoming my future reality, I try to keep my brain active. Reading and creating. Taking walks. Just getting out in the air and feeling the sun is good for your mind. I also take lion’s mane, a mushroom that’s good for memory. Aging is inevitable; feeling old doesn’t have to be.
Experience=ConfidenceWHEN I WAS first coming up as an artist, I was 20 years old. I didn’t think much about how my words would affect people. My vision was to be dope. Later somebody told me that my song “Retrospect for Life” made them decide to have a child. I thought, My music can really affect people’s lives. Later I came face-to-face with how my words also hurt people.
I stopped using words that were gay slurs back in the mid-2000s because two guys who were gay came up to me at the end of my show and one of them told me, “Common, we love your music, but you keep saying the word fag, and that hurts.” One of them told me, “My mother is gay. That really hurts me.” I also don’t call women derogatory names in my songs, because it isn’t helpful to anybody. Now I think more about what I’m saying and how it could affect people. These revelations came with age.
Aging as an artist has always been about being curious to seek and find different things, learning and growing, and being humble enough to know I don’t know everything. You have to be honest with where you are but still keep your integrity.
This new project I’m working on is inspired by the love of hip-hop and making music that touches people’s souls. It’s still fresh, because it’s coming from a 52-year-old’s perspective, and I’m collaborating with another artist, producer Pete Rock, who’s also in his 50s. Our new album The Auditorium Vol 1 is out now. All those experiences come out in the music. This is the most centered and confident I’ve been in my life. I’m still dealing with things that go wrong, and I’m still figuring out the best way to handle situations, but I feel more in tune with myself.
With aging, you have to be grateful for the time that we have in this moment. Even if it’s not a time when you’re feeling happy, just think about the fact that you are alive and breathing and can choose to feel better. Don’t project negative thoughts of what your time will be when you grow older. Don’t think that when you get older, you’ll start losing your memory or won’t be able to jog the way you want, play tennis, ski, or whatever. The mind is so powerful, and the things we tell ourselves are so powerful. The more we tell ourselves that we will be well and able to do things, the more we can live up to that.
Common’s Positive Aging All Stars
Mega Producer and Grammy Nominee at 49″Pharrell is still fresh and fly, but he’s also a good father, a good husband, and a good person. I remember he would go to church with his family on New Year’s Eve.”
Claudio Lavenia/Getty Images
Actress and Oscar Nominee at 64″Angela had her iconic Tina Turner performance in What’s Love Got to Do With It 29 years before Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. That’s true greatness. I sat next to her on a plane and thought, ‘This woman is fit and beautiful, with a regalness about her.'”
Kevin Mazur/Getty Images
EGOT-Winning Entertainer and Social Activist before passing in 2023″I met him when he was 80, and he was one of the most vibrant people I had ever been around. He was always meeting with social activists and staying in tune with what was going on.”
Theo Wargo/Getty Images
Jazz Drummer”He aged gracefully because he found something in his life that he loved to do. He’s done it till 99. Everyone I know who’s met him has said he’s a humble and good person.”
Jack Vartoogian/Getty Images This story originally appears in the July/August 2024 issue of Men’s Health.
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Source : Men’s Health