An Arizona mom has sparked a debate online after saying that the corporate world simply isn’t for her, and what she dreams of is becoming a housewife and taking care of children instead.
Ivy Van Dusen, 28, always gravitated towards nurturing roles from a young age.
She told Newsweek: “I can remember being obsessed with baby dolls and playing make-believe as a mom, with a house and a car and lots of babies.”
But this wasn’t a short-lived phase. Her maternal desire never went away, and even after completing her studies, Van Dusen knew that the best job she could ask for was to become a stay-at-home mom who looked after her home.
It may not be the most popular choice for modern-day women, but it’s what she has always aspired to do, and she insists that it should be recognized as a valid choice.
Ivy Van Dusen explained why she wants to be a housewife rather than climb the corporate ladder. She earned a degree and worked briefly but said she never dreamed of sustaining that.
@ivyoutwest / TikTok
“I never had anything against working, and I even earned a degree, worked for a bit, and had a wonderful time with that. But earning a degree, going to work, and moving up in a corporate job was never the end goal for me,” she said.
“Growing up I felt like I should want to have a career, live in a big city, and compete with men in order to be successful, but I never really wanted any of that. I was always told that I can be more than JUST a mom, and I think that subconsciously made me feel like the world didn’t believe motherhood was that important.
“You never hear people say that you can be more than JUST a doctor, lawyer, or business owner because our society recognizes that they have value on their own.”
Van Dusen isn’t alone in her goals though, as the number of stay-at-home mothers has fluctuated but remained somewhat steady over the decades. According to data from Pew Research Center, there were approximately 28 percent of moms who didn’t work, and while that dropped to 23 percent in 2000, it has steadily increased since.
In 2021, that figure had risen to 26 percent of moms not working for a variety of reasons, but the most common was to take care of the family (79 percent).
Interestingly, the figures also reveal a rise in stay-at-home dads, increasing from 4 percent in 1989 up to 7 percent in 2021. However, their reasons differed dramatically. While 23 percent of dads chose to take care of the family in 2023, 34 percent said they weren’t working due to illness or disability.
How Did Social Media React?At times, Van Dusen said that she feels like she was “born in the wrong decade” as her dreams aren’t necessarily akin to the ambitions that women set themselves today. Needless to say, it’s by no means less aspirational, and she hopes to have more children, own land and animals, and do philanthropic work to help postpartum mothers. If she can help to empower other parents, that’s a job well done.
While Van Dusen, who was voted Mrs Arizona in 2023, regularly shares videos about her lifestyle on social media (@ivyoutwest), she recently opened up about her dreams of “being a housewife and enjoying a feminine life.” She wasn’t sure how it would be received as she regularly feels judged for her choice, but she was amazed to learn that many other women feel exactly the same.
“I’m always surprised by how many messages and comments I get from women who want to be stay-at-home moms but feel like they can’t,” she said. “I think women are often expected to be breadwinners and climb the corporate ladder, but the centuries-old desire to be home with their children is still there too. The expectations that come with being a modern woman are a lot to juggle, and so many women wish it was simpler.
“I always get comments from people who disagree with my lifestyle, and they tell me to go back to 1952, but part of the beauty of the internet is having open dialogue, so it doesn’t bother me.
“I wanted to build a community of women who had similar goals and maybe felt alone in our modern, feminist society. I started to make videos talking about what I thought was my outdated perspective, just to see if it could make anyone else feel validated.”
After gaining more than 7,400 views and over 400 likes on her TikTok video to date, Van Dusen has connected with plenty of women who also want the same things out of life, which don’t necessarily align with the modern world.
Among the comments on her post, one TikTok user responded: “That’s for SURE a job and a worthy desire.”
A second TikToker commented: “So relatable. Never once have I ever dreamed of a job or wanted to girl boss my life away.”
Another comment reads: “Being a housewife/SAHM is labor [though], it’s so much work.”
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Uncommon KnowledgeNewsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Source : Newsweek